Thursday, 17 September 2015

Bookish Pet Peeves | The Bangzo Bookworm

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1.    Whiny, moody characters à la Elena in TVD.
Don’t get me wrong, an emotionally unstable book character is actually pretty realistic and easier to relate to than those who don’t set a foot wrong, but there is only so much angst I can take in one book.

2.    Pointless plots
You know the ones: characters embark on a perilous journey to the ends of an abandoned planet only to discover that the priceless long lost treasure, the subject of their life’s work, is NOT where they expected it to be.  So, what was the point in the book?

3.    Overly weird fictional names. 
Unless the book is listed under the fantasy genre, there really is no need, especially if the name is impossible to pronounce.  The other end of fictitious names is the weird variations of spellings eg. Peeta, that are just as annoying.

4.     Teeny tiny font. 
Apparently I am still at child. Any book font that looks  like it might compete with Tolstoy's War and Peace is a no. 

5.    Bad cover design. 
Those Google images imposed on over saturated backdrops will never look appealing.

6.    Book finales that leave a cliff-hanger.
Erm, how are we supposed to know what happens next? The torment this situation leaves you in is real.

7.    Getting stuff in/on your books. 
Crumbs, dog saliva, tears, tea stains, finger prints…ah, the list goes on.   

8.    Books that assume you know everything about the plot before it has been explained. 

9.    The “I-can- tell-where-this-is-going” plots. 
Unfortunately, I think that this is quite common in YA fiction, especially YA romance; basically the plots leave little space for imagination and an enormous amount of regret at the hours of life wasted upon starting such books.

10. Copycat books. 
You can’t fool me; the character names and location might be different, but I  can  recognise that anti- climax anywhere.

11. First person narrative. 
 I don’t like being told what to think or what to see- third person narrative lets me make my own mind up. Why should I have to take the narrator's word for everything? 

Friday, 14 August 2015

Weird Things People Might Say In A Bookstore | The Bangzo BookWorm

Yes, you are right, this post was inspired by Jen Campbell's extremely addictive book "Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops" if you haven't read it, you should. 


"Why don’t bookstores have trolleys, my arms are aching!"

"I can’t find a single book that I like in here- maybe (x bookshop) has a better choice."

"Can I return this book even if I end up reading it- its covered the 30 return policy, right?"

"I’m not buying it- it is a lot cheaper on my Kindle."

"Shot in the dark, but do you stock Harry Potter?"

"I know this is buy one get one free, but this book set is a trilogy… how does that work?"

"Gosh, it’s a bit quiet in here."

"I'm not sure I like paperbacks, hardbacks smell a lot better."
"Hi, I want to buy this book to put on my Kindle." ( proceeds to get money out of purse and place paperback onto cashier desk)

"Why buy the book when I can watch the film- it will take less time anyway."

"Can you tell me where the Bible would be on the A-Z author shelf?"

"Look, it’s the first edition of the book (gasp) but why is it so expensive?"

"Argh, not a fan of any of those books over in Bestseller, whose idea was it to put them there anyway?"

"Hi, I've been looking for a certain book, but I can’t remember what it is called, can you help me?"

"What do you mean I can’t drink my coffee in here? I always drink my coffee while reading a book."

Person 1: "Are you going to buy that book?"
Person 2: "No, there is no point, I am just taking notes for my History exam tomorrow."

Have you heard any other weird things in a bookstore/ bookshop? Let me know!

Wednesday, 5 August 2015

20 things BOOKWORMS do when they read books | The Bangzo BookWorm

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A bookworm will:
  1. Open up a book at about 30 degrees to reduce the risk of creasing the brand new spine- it was special edition after all.
  2. Ask too many questions out loud such as “Didn’t you see that coming?”, “What is wrong with you?”and "Why are you even in this book?"
  3.  Flick briefly to the back of the book to catch a sneak peek of the ending (and ruin the entire reading experience before it has even begun).
  4. Re-read key scenes over and over again because they succeeded at giving them ‘the feels’
  5. Mind map all the characters and plots because there are always too many to remember.
  6.  Exclaim every once in a while “Ha, I knew it!”
  7.  Sigh every time the story protagonist coincidentally to get themselves in trouble- it could have been avoided of course, if only they hadn’t taken that path away from the light.
  8. Wish that the guy would hurry up and get the girl.
  9. Wish that the girl would hurry up and stop being so precious and pretentious and get the guy.
  10.  Convince themselves that there is NOT someone creeping around in the house although the their book protagonist had just been attacked by a crazy home invader.
  11. Let out little snorts of laughter when they finally understand a joke… that happened about three chapters back.
  12. Panic when their theory proves incorrect, because that must mean that somewhere along the lines, their mind map went seriously wrong.
  13. Convince themselves that although they are already running late to leave the house in time for school/work/socialising/LIFE, in book time, they are still in the past, so an hour longer to finish the chapter won’t make much of a difference
  14. Call a friend in the middle of a late night read because the friend is a walking dictionary and will definitely know what that word means even though they could have just looked it up themselves
  15. Readjust their reading nook at least ten times 
  16.  Put off going to the toilet because the climax is just about to get started
  17. Put off going to eat or drink because the the climax is just about to get started 
  18.  Put off going to sleep because the climax is just about to get started
  19. Put off everything and anything  (including breathing) because the climax is just about to get started.
  20. Close the book at the final page, let out a dramatic sigh and hold a minute silence to digest the fact that they have finally finished - then pick up the next book in the pile and in an overly dramatic voice say “Chapter One”.
Do you do any of these bookish things when reading? Let me know!